


Remembrance

by Sokaless



Series: take a picture, it lasts longer [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka's a photographer, Gen, Post Revenge of the Sith, but no longer a Jedi, but pre Star Wars Rebels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 15:58:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2856716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokaless/pseuds/Sokaless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six and a half years after Ahsoka left the Jedi Order, she's tried to stay as neutral as possible, trusting no one. But as circumstances throw her back into the thick of things, she struggles to keep to her principals and get out alive. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but is Ahsoka willing to throw everything she's built around herself away and do the right thing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembrance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skyguyandsnips](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyguyandsnips/gifts).



> Here is part two of my "take a picture, it lasts longer" series and my Christmas present to skyguyandsnips. It was supposed to be a lot shorter than this, but it kinda got away from me. Merry Christmas, I hope you like it!

Ahsoka leaves the Jedi Order at age sixteen with nothing but the clothes on her back and swears to herself that she'll never take a side again. Not the Republic, not the Separatists, no one, because, as she's learned the hard way, you can't really rely on either of them.

Her friend may have set her up and turned into a ruthless, broken killer, but Barriss wasn't wrong about the Jedi.

Her neutrality is tested over the years, first when the Chancellor turns the Republic into an Empire, claiming that all the Jedi were traitors, then many times over, when the Empire's cruelty sweeps the galaxy, one star system at a time. Ahsoka's fingers sometimes itch for a lightsaber that's no longer at her side, but she stays put and doesn't go looking for trouble.

War isn't black and white, she knows, and so she'll observe and wait and maybe someday there'll be a reason for her to fight for a cause again. For now, she can be happy with her job as a photographer, working for a small holozine. She can. And if she wakes up some nights still reaching for her lightsabers, well, no one has to know.

The Force must disapprove of her boring life though, because in the middle of the night, six and a half years after she left the Jedi Order, she's awoken roughly from her sleep to find herself blinking into the visor of a stormtrooper.

“Ahsoka Tano, you are under arrest for suspicion of ties to the rebellion,” he says, and all Ahsoka can do is stare.

* * *

 

 

She sits in a cold cell in a Coruscant prison and thinks, _Well, this is familiar._

The single bench, the structure of the cell- she feels sixteen again, waiting nervously in a Republic military base and wondering if her Master will come and help her.

She'll get no help this time- she never found out exactly what happened to Anakin or Obi-Wan, but she assumes they're both dead. Everyone she would have ever looked to for help in a tough situation is gone and Ahsoka suddenly feels that acute loneliness that she thought she'd gotten over a long time ago.

 _Not now,_ she tells herself firmly. She can't afford to deal with the past on top of everything else right now. She takes a breath and tries to focus.

Right, Imperial prison. Why has she been brought to Coruscant all the way from the Outer Rim? That's unusual for prisoners, as far as Ahsoka could tell from local gossip on Erris III. Why is she even being arrested in the first place? Ahsoka doesn't think she's even met a rebel in the past year. People mostly stay away from her now- Ahsoka, the mysterious recluse who surfaces only for work and occasionally a supplies trip into town. That's all she's known as on Erris III. So, why now, is she being arrested?

Could... could someone have found out that she was once a Jedi?

Her cell door opens and Ahsoka looks up, expecting to see more stormtroopers. Instead, standing in the doorway, accompanied by several Red Guards, is the Emperor himself, the former Chancellor Palpatine.

Ahsoka's stomach drops and she swallows hard, trying not to react. She's heard the rumours about this man, rumours she has no trouble believing. The whole galaxy knows of his right hand man, Lord Vader, who's only purpose in life seems to be hunting down and killing Jedi. His people bow to him not because they respect him, but because they fear him. And looking at his shadowed, horrifically twisted face, Ahsoka might fear him a little, too.

One thing is clear; this is not the same bland, friendly man Ahsoka had met as a Padawan.

She rises to her feet, bowing her head as little as she can get away with. “Your Excellency,” she says, and hopes he doesn't catch the mockery leaking into her tone. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

The Emperor takes his time stepping down into her cell. Ahsoka waits, stiff as a statue as he finally looks her in the eye.

“Former Padawan Tano,” he says, and his voice is no longer the mild, pleasant tone she remembers. It's harsh and grating, like the Empire itself. “It's been a long time.”

_Former Padawan Tano._

Of course Palpatine recognizes her. She'd spent enough time at the Senate with her Master as a teenager, not to mention that he had been present at her trial. And now Palpatine has unmasked her as a Jedi and she's surely going to die.

Ahsoka's eyes flick to the guards, who are still and impassive behind Palpatine. She may have been a Jedi once, but she's out of practice and can't take them all at once. Escape is off the table for now.

She thinks fast. Palpatine is a master at not only politics, but at manipulation. She's seen him talk circles around the Senate far too many times to think otherwise. If Ahsoka is going to walk out of this, she's going to have to be careful.

“What am I doing here?” she asks. “They told me that I was under arrest for having ties to a rebel group.”

“My most sincerest apologies,” Palpatine says, and she thinks he might be smiling. “I believe this was a misunderstanding. You know how it is these days- any whispers about the Jedi and people tend to get frightened. I imagine a colleague of yours found out about your former status and decided to report it.”

Palpatine reminds her of the Nexu, who like to play with their food before they eat it. This is a story he's spinning, nothing more.

“I left the Jedi Order, Your Highness,” Ahsoka says. “I'm a civilian now. Is there a case against me?”

“I believe you have been wrongfully imprisoned,” Palpatine tells her, all false sympathy. “There is no evidence besides your former ties to the Jedi Order that you have committed treason.”

Ahsoka frowns. No evidence? Why has she been arrested in the first place? This whole situation is seeming more and more like a set-up.

“Does... that mean I'm free to go?” she asks warily.

“I'm sure I can arrange something,” the Emperor assures her. “But first, I was wondering if you would do something for me. A favour, if you wish.”

There it is. A catch. Ahsoka crosses her arms and waits for him to go on.

“You see, Ahsoka Tano, it's been brought to my attention that you are a capable photographer,” Palpatine says slowly and Ahsoka thinks, _huh?_

“I just so happen to be in need of a professional photographer, for a senatorial party taking place this weekend. If you were to agree to take this job, I could arrange for every sign that you were ever a Jedi to be erased from the records. You would never be bothered again.”

Photography. Ahsoka was a Jedi for fifteen years of her life and a soldier for three and the galactic Emperor wants her for her photography skills.

What in the galaxy is going on here?

Palpatine notices her hesitation. “Of course,” he says casually, “records are a finicky thing, and there are slicers out there who would like nothing more than to leak private information to the public. Especially information about a former Jedi. That would indeed be a tragedy.”

Ahsoka reads him loud and clear. _You work for me or I'll make sure everyone in the galaxy knows about your history._ She's trapped, and the net is a good one. But why? Why her, why now? Does Palpatine just want a Jedi under his thumb? She supposes working for the tyrant is the best way to find out, not to mention Ahsoka's never been very good at staying away from trouble.

She sighs. “What do you want me to do?”

* * *

 

 

What Palpatine wants her to do, apparently, is stay shut up in a slightly fancier room inside the Imperial Palace. It's got a bed and a nightstand and a window, but the window is ray-shielded. If Palpatine thinks she's desperate enough to jump out the window, then maybe he's not as smart as she thought he was.

Ahsoka leans on the windowsill, tapping her fingers on the metal as she stares out at the traffic. She hasn't been on Coruscant in six and a half years and it's just as beautiful as she remembers, yet achingly different. Things are more fearful now, she can sense the tension boiling across the planet. The Jedi Temple is just visible on the horizon, but even from here Ahsoka can tell it's a hollow, burnt-out shell.

She remembers seeing the news that horrible day, watching flickering footage of the Temple going up in smoke and hearing the news anchor declare the Jedi Order to be a terrorist group. She remembers hearing reports come in all across the galaxy that the Jedi “threat” had been dealt with.

She remembers sinking to the ground in a haze of tears and not moving for a very long time.

Ahsoka turns away from the window, shaking her head to rid the cloud of memories.

 _“Some things are better left forgotten,”_ she'd told her Master one miserable day in medical, and it's still true today. She'll take pictures for the holo-zine she works for, of people, of landscapes, of anything, but Ahsoka hasn't taken a picture that means anything to her in a long time. In the long run, it's better that way.

It's almost mindlessly that her fingers drift to her belt and pull out the holodisk that contains some of her best work from all her time as a photographer. Amazing skies, unique flowers, she likes to think she's always had an eye for that kind of thing. Among the scenery, though, is a grainy picture with harsh lighting, and bad focus, and it's one of Ahsoka's favourites.

Seeing Anakin's face after all this time still startles her, even in a freeze frame. In the photo, he's smiling a genuine smile that became increasingly hard to get out of him as the Clone Wars dragged on. Ahsoka herself looks young and wide-eyed, covered in bandages after her latest near death experience. She remembers that day well, how surprised she was when Anakin finally agreed to take a photo of the two of them. He'd been stubborn about that kind of thing and he never let her do it again. This mess of a picture is the only tie left to the best friendship she'd ever had, and while some things are better left forgotten, Ahsoka doesn't consider this to be one of them.

The door swishes open and Ahsoka whisks the holodisk out of sight, looking up to see three of Palpatine's personal guards. An upgrade from stormtooper company. She feels kind of flattered.

“The Emperor has summoned you for dinner,” one of them says.

“Let me guess,” Ahsoka says. “This dinner isn't optional.” Is it even time for dinner? Her internal clock is all messed up, what with the whole kidnapped-from-bed-and-forced-to-work-for-the-Emperor thing. She hates today.

“Come with us,” the second guard says flatly and Ahsoka sighs. She's still neutral. She does not want to do murderous things to Palpatine and his cronies.

Mostly.

* * *

 

 

Dinner turns out to be in a fancy hall somewhere in the Imperial Palace, complete with serving droids, expensive cutlery and several rich Senators. Truthfully, Ahsoka's grateful for the Senators' attendance. She's tamed her tendency to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind over the years, but dinner with the Emperor alone might have been the thing to break that self control.

As the guards escort Ahsoka to her seat, midway down the table, chatter seems to cease around her as the Senators all stare at her curiously. At the head of the table, Palpatine clears his throat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, Miss Ahsoka Tano. She is my guest for tonight.”

Palpatine's seal of approval seems to be all the Senators need to warm up to her. Ahsoka is half afraid some of them would remember her from her trial during the Clone Wars, but either they're too scared to speak up, or none of them truly recognize her. She certainly doesn't see any familiar faces.

“Ahsoka? Is it really you?”

Ahsoka turns to her left to see the Rodian senator looking hopefully at her. She frowns, trying to put a name to the face. It clicks in her head and she brightens. Suddenly, she's feeling a lot more optimistic about this dinner.

“Kees! It's good to see you again.”

“And you, my friend,” Kees says warmly. “It has been a long time.”

Kees Jemo had been a Senate aide during the Clone Wars. Ahsoka had run into him multiple times while at the Senate with her Master, and while he had been off with one of his friends, Ahsoka sometimes was left with nothing to do but make some friends of her own. Anakin normally had no time for politics and Padme was often too busy to teach her much, so Kees had been invaluable in showing her the inner workings of the Senate. And it's clear now that his knowledge of politics has gotten him far.

“A Senator now, huh? That's great,” Ahsoka says sincerely. She doesn't much care for what the Senate itself has fallen to, but if there are good people like Kees working in it, then there may yet be some hope for the future.

“Yes, thank you.” Kees puffs up with pride. “It is tiring work, but I enjoy it.” He lowers his voice, eyes flickering to the Emperor. “What are _you_ doing here? I am pleased to see that you are alive Ahsoka, but to be here, in the Imperial Palace? Does- does the Emperor know who you _are_?”

Her good mood gone, Ahsoka shifts uncomfortably. “I'm a photographer now,” she tells him. “I've taken a job for the Emperor. That's all, okay?”

Silently, she wills him to back off. This is not the time or place to be having this conversation.

Kees doesn't get the hint. “And you're okay being here? Even with Lord Vader attending this dinner?”

Ahsoka goes cold. _“What?”_ she hisses, and at that very second, the door slides open.

A black-clad figure strides in, a figure she knows well from the holonet. The room has once again gone silent and in that silence, she hears the _woosh_ of a single breath of air being slowly drawn in through the terrifying mask that has become a legendary symbol of Vader.

The Force, so silent until now, hits her like a tidal wave of warning, so intense that Ahsoka reels back as if punched. It seems that Vader might feel it too, as he freezes for half a step and then that mask is looking right at her.

Ahsoka experiences half a second of utter _familiarity_ before the dark storm in the Force that is Vader disappears. He's shielding himself from her entirely, and if Ahsoka wasn't so busy trying to conceal every bit of terror and confusion that she's feeling, she might have found that interesting.

_Woosh,_ goes the mask, a breath let out again. Ahsoka blinks. Although that encounter took only seconds, it felt a little like hours.

“Ah, Lord Vader,” the Emperor says pleasantly. “Please, take a seat.” He gestures to the chair immediately to his right and the Jedi killer joins the table without a word.

Ahsoka lets out a breath of her own. For whatever reason, Vader has decided to let her live, although whether that's because he's planning to kill her later, or because he just hasn't been given permission by Palpatine remains to be seen. He definitely knows she's Force-sensitive, that much had been clear from his reaction.

“You must be special,” Kees whispers to Ahsoka after the conversation has started up again. “I have never seen him spare anyone like you before.”

Ahsoka just shakes her head. “What- what is he  _ doing _ here, Kees? I didn't know he attended things like this- can he even eat through that mask?”

“I've heard that the Emperor makes him attend  _ because  _ he can't eat through the mask,” Kees confides. “His Majesty does have a taste for suffering.”

_ No kidding,  _ Ahsoka thinks. Today has been very enlightening on the inner workings of the Empire and she definitely doesn't like what she sees.

“And I've seen Vader at banquets before,” Kees adds. “He will probably be at the Senatorial party as well.”

Well, Ahsoka is definitely doomed. It was nice of Palpatine to let her have a last meal, but tomorrow she'll become one with the Force at last. Six years later, her time has finally run out.

She tries to eat, but ends up just pushing her food around on her plate. Her mind is running at top speed trying to think of every escape plan possible, but she doesn't think she could hide anywhere the Emperor and Vader couldn't find her. No rebellion lasts for too long because the Empire is just that good. She swallows a mouthful of dinner and attempts to look a lot more chipper than she feels.

Kees nudges her lightly in the side and she jumps. The Senator gives her a strange look and in a near-whisper, “Vader has been watching you almost since he got here. I would be careful if I were you, Ahsoka. The guy absolutely hates Jedi, former or not.”

“Got it,” Ahsoka says grimly. She doesn't know if Vader is a Sith Lord, or just another dark acolyte, but either way, she knows he's dangerous. She resists the temptation to stare back at him and instead returns to her supper, trying to ignore the stare she feels on her throughout the rest of dinner.

* * *

 

 

Vader leaves before everyone else once the meal is over and Ahsoka breathes a little easier once he's gone. The guards return to take her back to her room, but Palpatine waves them off for the moment, beckoning Ahsoka to him.

“I hope you enjoyed the meal,” he says, and that raspy voice will never stop putting her on edge. “Most of the Senators here tonight will also be at the event tomorrow. I thought you would like a chance to become familiar with them beforehand.”

“Yes. Thank you,” Ahsoka forces herself to say, instead of one of the thousands of questions that she has about Vader. Number one being, why did Palpatine think it was a good idea to put a Sith and a Je- former Jedi in the same room?

“I happened to notice you were already familiar with Kees Jemo,” the Emperor comments mildly. “Allow me to give you a word of caution about him. He has fallen in with some... unfriendly circles as of late and I suspect he does not have the true interests of the Empire at heart.”

_ Good,  _ Ahsoka thinks, keeping her face carefully expressionless. Out loud, she says, “Right. So, you want me to stay away from him?”

“No,” the Emperor says. “I want you to keep an eye on him at the party tomorrow. If he goes anywhere, follow him. Report back to me with whatever you find out.”

“ _ Me? _ ” Ahsoka blurts out. “I mean, why? Don't you have security for this kind of thing?”

“Of course,” Palpatine says. He pauses to shake the hand of the last Senator to leave, then turns back to her. “But, you were a former Jedi, and although they were a horribly corrupt order, you had to sense to break away. I trust that you can handle this.”

He nods to the red guards standing a few feet away and they step forward to shadow Ahsoka. “I shall retire now. Good evening.”

As the Emperor departs, Ahsoka frowns to herself. That whole conversation had been very odd, and it isn't until she's back in her room that she figures out why. Palpatine never gave her a straight answer to her question. He talked his way around it, gave her a twisted compliment and ended the conversation, leaving her with too many  _ why's _ floating around her head and not enough  _ because _ 's.

 

* * *

 

 

Ahsoka can't sleep.

She turns over yet again, trying to will herself into unconsciousness, but she's completely alert and aware of everything going on around her, from the rain dripping down her window, to the faint hum of voices just a few rooms away. Ahsoka wonders if there are more like her in the palace, blackmailed into working for the Empire. It wouldn't surprise her.

She can't figure out what she's going to do about tomorrow. Perhaps Palpatine does mean to keep his word and let her go after the event. Maybe he's planning on double-crossing her and luring her into a false sense of security before he has his attack dog Vader kill her. Maybe he'll hold the fact that she used to be a Jedi over her head for the rest of her life, forcing her to stay in his service. Ahsoka thinks that she might prefer a quick death by a lightsaber to that.

But either way, Kees is in danger if he really is working with some “unfriendly circles,” and Ahsoka has to go to the party. Not to expose him, but to help him if necessary. Between Vader and Palpatine, he really can't go without some backup.

It occurs to Ahsoka that she really is against the Empire now. She didn't exactly agree with them before, but she can't stand by anymore and watch as the galaxy falls to shambles. She doesn't know what she'll do when she's finally released from the palace, but going back to her old job is not an option.

Ahsoka gets up with a sigh, realizing that trying to sleep is futile. She could really use a walk, but she is a prisoner, so she doubts she's going to be allowed to waltz all over the palace. She tries the door, just in case. The sound of it hissing open is so unexpected that she jumps back in surprise.

Okay. So maybe Palpatine doesn't believe in locking up his guest-prisoners. Maybe he thinks that his threats are enough to keep her in place. That is totally fine by her.

Ahsoka creeps out into the hall, making sure no one's around. When she's sure the coast is clear, she ventures out on her own into the Imperial Palace.

It's a grand place, she'll give it that. Tall, arching ceilings, ornate carpeting, bronze busts of important Imperials lining the walls. Several times, she has to duck into the shadows to avoid a patrol squad, or an official working nights, but she hasn't felt this free since she was back on Erris III. Escape crosses her mind, but then she pictures in her head the manhunt that would follow, every news story branding her a traitor... she doesn't really care to go through all that again. She'll just enjoy this while she can.

Then, from inside a room up ahead, she hears a sound that chills her to the bone.

Harsh, mechanical breathing.

Vader is still here.

Ahsoka ignores her instinct to flee.  _ Know thy enemy, _ Anakin had always taught her, and if she has to work with the guy, that might not be such a bad idea. She sneaks closer, masking her Force signature. When she's close enough, she crouches down in the shadows of the hall to listen to what he's saying.

“...she survived the purge,” Vader says, and his altered, mechanical voice is more unsettling than Palpatine's. “If I had known-”

“Ah, but I knew, my apprentice,” comes Palpatine's voice, and it's different now, like he's allowing some darkness to bleed into his voice. “I knew where she was, and I allowed her to live because one day, I knew that she could be used.”

“She was a very powerful Jedi,” Vader says, and Ahsoka realizes with a shock that they're talking about  _ her. _ “To have her around with minimal guard, to give her the freedom you have- Master, I don't think-”

“Remember your place, Lord Vader,” Palpatine says silkily. “Your focus has been slipping lately. I thought you might like a reminder from your past, since your mind has been spending so much time there.”

“I remain loyal to you, my Master,” Vader says. “Skywalker is dead and  _ she  _ is nothing.”

And, okay, Ahsoka had figured that Anakin had died in the Purge, after she never heard from him in the months following, but to  _ hear  _ it, to have it confirmed by the Jedi killer himself, is like ripping open an old wound. Ahsoka thought she'd come to terms with it. Apparently not. She hunches down even further and tries to level her breathing, curling her hands into fists. She can't afford lose it here. One day, she is going to kill Vader for what he's done, and she can't do that if she gets caught eavesdropping.

And if revenge isn't the Jedi way? Well, she seems to be the only one left in the galaxy, so who's left to lecture her about it?

Then a thought breaks through her angry haze. Palpatine had brought Ahsoka in as a “reminder” for Vader, as if he had known her, before. She knows Vader is force-sensitive. On top of that, there was that hint of familiarity at dinner...

Had Vader once been a Jedi?

* * *

 

 

Ahsoka leans against a wall and fiddles with her camera, scanning the crowd as she does so. She hasn't seen Vader or the Emperor since before the party began an hour ago, and all Palpatine said to her then was a reminder to look out for Kees. Ahsoka had nodded, carefully not looking at Vader, who was standing a few paces away. Then she'd excused herself to go do her job.

The work itself is easy- take a few photos here and there, make sure the lighting is correct, and stay out of the way of important people. She's devoted part of her focus throughout the evening to keeping an eye on her Rodian friend, but he's been mingling as well. If Kees is involved with something he shouldn't be, he's doing a very good job of hiding it.

Ahsoka isn't exactly sure what Palpatine wants her to do if Kees turns out to be a traitor. She's been given a stun blaster that seems more like a toy then anything else, it'll be a joke to use if she comes upon anything dangerous. Not to mention that if Kees is working with the Rebellion, she's feeling more inclined to join them then detain them.

There's nothing like being arrested to blow your neutrality out the window.

Somewhere in the hall filled with Senators, a clock chimes out the time- 2100 hours. From her position against the wall, Ahsoka watches as Kees straightens up, shakes hands with the person he was talking to, and then gestures towards the food tables, smiling amicably. The other Senator drifts off to talk to someone else and Kees, glancing around nervously, makes his way out of the hall.

So, Palpatine was right about Kees. Ahsoka has to admit she's surprised- the Senate aide she'd known all those years ago had double-checked a handbook twice before going to the fresher. Still, people change. She knows that better than most. Checking again for the Emperor or Vader, Ahsoka sets her camera down on a table and hurries out after her friend.

She follows Kees down several corridors, using the Force to help her keep out of sight. Kees is clearly nervous; he flinches at small noises and looks over his shoulder like he expects to see the entire Imperial army at his heels. Eventually, they come to Kees' final destination, a small side corridor with a floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the Coruscant night.

Ahsoka makes a quick decision and Force-jumps up to cling to a marble pillar. This particular hall is shadowed and she won't be seen from the ground. Hopefully. She is a little rusty at secret missions. 

Barely a minute passes before another figure enters the corridor. This one is human, tall and thin with short, dark hair. Kees' expression lights up with relief when he sees them and he steps forward to greet them.

“Were you followed?” the human, a girl, judging by the voice, whispers.

Kees shakes his head. “No. I was careful. Everyone was occupied tonight, it was easy to slip away.”

“Anything new?” the girl asks.

“The Emperor has captured a Jedi,” Kees says. “I don't know why he lets her live, but she is here at the gala tonight. As... as a photographer.”

Ahsoka raises an eyemark. It's not that she doesn't appreciate being the talk of the palace (actually, she really, really doesn't) but surely she's not the most interesting news on Coruscant right now. As a Senator, Kees must have access to more stories much more exciting.

“A Jedi?” the girl says, interest lighting her voice. “Are you sure?”

“Very,” Kees affirms. “I knew her, before, her name is Ahsoka Tano. She was a great Jedi. I believe I may be able to persuade her to join our cause.”

“Not so fast, Jemo,” the girl cautions. “It could be that she is working for the Empire willingly. We don't want an incident like last time. If the Emperor wants her alive, that could be good or bad. Keep an eye on her, maybe figure out where she stands in this mess, contact me if something changes, got it?”

“Understood,” Kees says, and then launches into a report of what's changed in the Senate and who can be trusted and who can't. Ahsoka doesn't exactly hate politics, but she doesn't love them either, so she listens with half an ear while keeping an eye out for Imperials. She doesn't know if Vader has noticed Kees' disappearance yet, but she knows that the two rebels don't have long. Long minutes tick by until Kees and the girl seem to conclude their secret meeting.

“I won't be able to get in the palace next time, so I'll meet you at the Senate in two weeks. Jektin will give you more details as they come,” the girl says. She shakes hands with Kees and they turn to head back their respective ways when a sound Ahsoka has come to dread echoes in the silent halls.

A raspy breath in. A raspy breath out.

Vader.

She knows the second Kees and the girl hear it too, their eyes widen and they look at each other frantically. Ahsoka tenses, high up on the pillar, as Vader comes striding into view.

“Good evening, Senator Jemo,” he says, almost mockingly. “What a surprise to find you all the way out here. Do you not have a party to be attending?”

Kees is almost trembling with fear, but with difficulty, he raises his head to look at Vader head-on. Ahsoka kind of wants to cheer. “I-I needed some fresh air,” he says. “If it's alright with you, I-I think I will be heading back now.”

“I'm afraid not,” Vader says. Kees swallows hard, the dusky light reflecting off his wide eyes. Vader's helmet turns slightly to look at the girl standing beside Kees. “This girl is a known rebel and a traitor to the Empire. It would seem that we now have proof that you are one as well.”

Kees shakes his head frantically. “Of course I'm not, Lord Vader- Reta is my friend, neither of us are traitors!”

“I grow bored of your lies,” Vader snarls, and it's almost causally that he ignites his lightsaber.

Ahsoka has spent six years hiding on a distant planet, pretending to be content with her life as the Empire's tyranny rages around her. She's stomped down the call to go do something to help because she was scared of more betrayal. She's allowed Palpatine to manipulate her into being his puppet. She's been compliant with everything that's happened to her, but seeing that red lightsaber snaps something in her. She's not going to stand by anymore. It's not in her nature.

She remembers being fourteen and recklessly running to face General Grievous, or Ventress, or whatever bad guy was in her way that day, and she lets some of that recklessness back in as she leaps off the pillar, landing between the rebels and Vader. She settles into a defensive crouch and looks him in the eye for the first time.

“I don't think we've been formally introduced. I'm Ahsoka, nice to meet you. Now, back off.”

Vader actually seems stunned for a few seconds. He doesn't immediately decapitate her, which is nice, but he doesn't back down either. Ahsoka is armed with nothing but a stun blaster. This was probably a bad idea.

“And now we see your true colours revealed,” he says at last. “Surrender, Jedi, and your death will be quick.”

“I'm not a Jedi anymore,” Ahsoka says, and she hasn't felt this alive in  _ years. _ “I've got a counter-offer for you, though. Let them go. They haven't done anything wrong. I'm probably worth more as a prisoner, though, am I right?”

She doesn't actually have any plans to spend more time in a prison cell, but if she can keep Vader distracted, she can give Kees and Reta time to get away before he kills them all. Ahsoka used to be a brilliant strategist. Really.

“Why let one traitor go when I have all three of you?” Vader says, and there's an odd note to his voice. He sounds... unbalanced. Ahsoka thinks back to what she heard the night before.

_ I thought you might like a reminder of your past,  _ the Emperor had said. Ahsoka doesn't know who Vader was before, but she decides to take that line and run with it.

“Let me rephrase that,” she says. “I'm probably worth more to you as someone you once knew.”

That shocks Vader into silence and Kees and Reta take that moment to bolt. Vader turns to go after them, but Ahsoka impulsively blurts out, “were you a Jedi?” and he halts in his tracks.

“You know nothing, Padawan,” he says sharply, and then seems to realize what he's called her.

“You were,” Ahsoka realizes. “You were a Jedi, and you murdered your own kind. How could you do that? All those younglings, Master Plo, Anakin-”

“The Jedi Order was corrupt and needed to be exterminated,” Vader interrupts harshly. He seems to have momentarily forgotten that he's holding a lightsaber, thank Force. “You must have understood that. You left.”

And that last sentence sounds... accusing. “Why do you care?” Ahsoka asks. “Upset that you didn't get to kill me while I was still around?”

“It matters not whether you'd have stayed,” Vader snaps. “I have you now and now you will die.”

Ahsoka cautiously takes a step back just in case he's actually about to go through with it. This, she realizes, is probably the longest conversation any Jedi has ever had with Vader without being run through with a lightsaber. Now she just needs to get away herself without suffering a similar fate. “Listen, I understand leaving the Jedi, I do. But  _ murdering  _ them?  _ Why _ ? What did they ever do to you that was so horrible?”

She gets the feeling that Vader is glaring at her behind that mask. “You always were so inquisitive, Snips,” he says and the world seems to stop.

_ You always have it easy, Snips,  _ Anakin would say as she escaped a battle unscathed.

_ Don't worry, Snips,  _ Anakin would tell her before he did something incredibly stupid.

_ I'm sorry, Snips,  _ Anakin had said helplessly, just before she'd gone on trial.

_ You were always so inquisitive, Snips,  _ Lord Vader tells her now, and Ahsoka can't breathe.

_ “Anakin,”  _ she whispers, and takes another step back.

A breath in. A breath out. Then Vader uncloaks his Force presence and Ahsoka can once again feel that horribly familiar tremor in the Force. It's different now, though, if Anakin was once a rainstorm of power in the Force, now he's a thunderstorm, black and twisted almost beyond recognition.

“Anakin is dead,” he says, and brings his lightsaber down towards her.

Ahsoka snaps out of her daze of horror just in time to throw herself off to the side. She stumbles back a few paces, just watching as Vader advances on her.

Anakin isn't dead. Anakin has been alive this whole time, and as Ahsoka grieved for everything she'd lost, he'd been roaming the galaxy in a horrifying suit, picking off the remaining Jedi one-by-one. Her once impulsive and passionate friend and teacher is now a monster.

And he's trying to kill her.

“What  _ happened  _ to you?” she asks, hating the way her voice shakes. “Anakin-  _ why _ ?”

“You don't know the dark side, Ahsoka,” Vader says, and her name sounds wrong in that tone. “It brings me more power than I ever had as a Jedi.”

“That's why you turned? And killed all those Jedi?” and Force, it was  _ Anakin  _ who'd killed the younglings, and that somehow makes it a thousand times worse because she remembers teaching classes to the younglings with her Master and watching how good he was with the kids. 

Ahsoka feels sick.

“You're a monster,” she whispers. “All those times I saved you in the war- I should have let you die.”

Vader tilts his head, considering her. “My Master was right,” he says. “It doesn't do to dwell on the past. I shall have to thank him for the reminder after I kill you.”

And with that, he raises one gloved hand and makes a fist.

Ahsoka finds herself suddenly gasping for air and her hands fly to her throat, even though she knows it's useless. Vader's using the Force to choke her and a Force-choke can't be broken.

Her feet have left the ground and now she and Vader are level. She imagines Anakin's face under that mask, twisted up with anger. She wonders if his eyes have gone a sickly yellow, like most Sith have.

Her vision has gone blurry and she knows she doesn't have much time before she passes out. The dark side is all around her and she's drowning in it, being pulled under. She searches Vader's Force-presence for a weakness, for a sign of  _ something  _ but all she can feel is dark and cold and-

It's quick, but for a second, Ahsoka senses a crack in the storm, where the darkness isn't as complete. Is she lying to herself, or is there still a bit of Anakin left in there? She supposes there's only one way left to find out.

“Anakin,” she chokes out, “Anakin,  _ stop,  _ please-”

And, amazingly, Vader's hold on her relaxes enough that she can take a breath. She gathers the Force herself and directs it at Vader. This time, he falls, breaking his hold on her completely. She drops to the floor, gasping.

She feels the Force urging her to flee, pulling her towards the window, so she gets up and runs, not even caring if there's a hundred foot drop waiting for her. Between the window and Vader, she'll take the window.

She looks back, just once, to see Vader climbing to his feet. Their eyes lock and it occurs to Ahsoka in that moment that she'd never said goodbye to Anakin when she'd left the temple. She'd always assumed that she would see him again, one day, after the war ended. It never happened, and looking at the expressionless mask, seeing what Anakin has become, she guesses it never will. If there had been a weakness there, she can't sense it anymore.

_ Goodbye,  _ she thinks to the shadow of her old Master, and with that, she crashes through the window.

There are several moments of freefall and confusion and glass before she lands with a thump on something much softer than she had expected. Ahsoka sits up, blinking hard, and sees that she's landed in the backseat of a speeder. The driver turns around and Ahsoka realizes with a start that it's Kees.

“Eyes on the road!” the side passenger says sharply, and that's the rebel he was meeting with, Reta. “We got her!”

“I thought you were dead!” Kees yells over the sound of traffic. “We got away as soon as we could and came back for you, but we assumed the worst!”

“I thought you said that she was a good Jedi,” Reta shouts, but she's smiling, which is a first.

“The best,” Kees assures her. “She got away from Vader!”

“It was a close one,” Ahsoka admits, and she's sure that it was only because of who she had been to Anakin before that he had faltered like he had. No one else would have been that lucky.

“We're going to take you to our safe houses here on Coruscant,” Reta tells her. “That alright?”

The adrenaline rush that she's been on since she jumped between Vader and the rebels is wearing off and suddenly all Ahsoka wants to do is sleep for a thousand years and forget this whole nightmare ever happened. She wishes she could rewind things a couple of hours, because thinking Anakin was dead was hard, but it's nothing compared to the horror of reality.

“Yeah,” she replies, slumping down in her seat and closing her eyes. “That's fine with me.”

* * *

 

 

The safe house is an ordinary apartment on the far side of Coruscant. The apartment building itself is shabby, paint peeling off the walls and the lift makes a groaning sound as it carries Ahsoka, Kees and Reta up to the eleventh floor. Ahsoka's just glad the lift works at all. Taking the stairs sounds like a task too big for her right now.

Reta leads the way down the hall, stopping in front of the apartment next to the stairwell. She knocks, six quick taps that Ahsoka knows is probably the password. The door opens and Ahsoka has to work hard to keep the startled expression off her face as she sees who's answered it.

“Kees, Reta,” Bail Organa says pleasantly. “Good to see you again.” His eyes flick to Ahsoka. “It has been a long time, Ahsoka Tano. I was pleased to hear you have survived all this time.”

“Senator Organa,” Ahsoka says, reaching out to shake his hand out of habit. “ _ You're _ part of a rebellion?”

It seems so unlikely, yet makes perfect sense. Bail Organa was in Padme's inner circle and Padme had never made it a secret of how much she disagreed with the Chancellor over the war.

Ahsoka wonders if Padme knew of Anakin's turn to the dark side before she died, but pushes that thought away. The memory of Padme is painful too.

“There are many more than you might think who disagree with the Empire,” Organa says, ushering them inside. “Kees and I have been doing our part in the Senate to stop them from handing even more power over to the Emperor, but I know Palpatine has his eye on me and there's not much I can do without raising suspicion.”

“I would lay low for a while,” Ahsoka tells him. “The Emperor definitely suspected that Kees was up to something. Now that he's been proven right, he's going to be more paranoid then ever.”

“I will need to get a new job now,” Kees sighs. “Going back to the Senate would mean a death sentence for me.”

“I'm going to need a new job, too,” Ahsoka says. “If I didn't take the work the Emperor offered me, he was going to have my status as a Jedi plastered over every news station. Since I escaped from the palace, he's probably working on that right now.” She smiles ruefully. “Looks like I'm a wanted criminal again.”

“I can help with that, if you'd like,” Organa says. “I certainly can use all the help I can get with the rebellion, and a Jedi would come in handy. But first, I know there's someone who would like to speak with you.”

Ahsoka frowns, but follows the Senator of Alderaan further into the apartment, almost colliding with him when he stops in the doorway of the living room. He gestures for her to go in and she does, seeing a hologram on a stand in the centre of the room. The reception is a bit fuzzy and she squints, trying to make out the figure, but when she does, she gasps, some of the weariness falling away.

“Master Kenobi!”

And it is. Obi-Wan looks weathered and grey and there are more lines on his face than she remembers, but he smiles a genuine smile when he sees her and that's so familiar she could cry.

Obi-Wan is alive and well and seeing an old friend after the horror of the last few days is the best thing she could have ever asked for.

Ahsoka shoots a look back at Organa, who is grinning at her. “When Reta and Kees told me they had found you, I contacted Obi-Wan right away and came down here to see for myself,” he explains. “The signal is encrypted, no one will be able to hack it, so don't worry.”

Ahsoka is almost speechless. “Thank you, Senator,” she manages. “I- thank you.”

“It never hurts to have a little hope in these times,” Organa replies, and disappears down the hallway.

Ahsoka turns back to the hologram stand. “I thought you were dead,” she tells Obi-Wan quietly.

“I thought the same about you,” Obi-Wan replies. “It is good to see you again Ahsoka, even if it has to be under these circumstances.”

It crosses Ahsoka's mind that the last time she'd seen Obi-Wan, it was in the Council chambers when she'd announced that she wasn't coming back to the Jedi Order. These last few days have brought back so many memories that she would rather stay forgotten.

“Where are you?” she asks, just to take her mind off the memories.

“I'd rather not say,” Obi-Wan says. “If you are ever captured again, it's probably best that you don't know my location.”

Ahsoka winces at the ' _ again' _ . “I've been such an idiot lately, Obi-Wan. When I was arrested, I thought I could play along with the Emperor and get out of the palace without anything going wrong, but I overestimated myself. And then I learned something I wish I never had.” She swallows hard and forces herself to say it out loud. “The Emperor's right hand man, Vader used to be Anakin. Anakin killed all those Jedi.”

Obi-Wan is silent and frozen and Ahsoka wonders if the hologram connection has been lost. Then he nods, just once, and her shoulders slump.

“You knew?”

“Yes.”

“ _ Why,  _ Master?” she asks, almost a whisper. “Why did he do it?”

Obi-Wan looks like the weight of the entire galaxy is on his shoulders. “I'm not sure, Ahsoka. Anakin was always tempted by the dark side, I was just too blind to see it. Between that and Palpatine's manipulations, it was already too late for him when I confronted him.”

“You don't think he can be turned back, then,” Ahsoka says, willing him to tell her that yes, the mess that Anakin has become is still salvageable.

“No,” Obi-Wan says and Ahsoka sighs. She thinks back to the crack in Vader's Force-presence. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part after all. Maybe there is no good left in him. “We must be patient, though,” Obi-Wan continues. “I believe with time, a new hope will emerge and Vader will fall.”

“I'm not just going to sit around anymore,” Ahsoka says firmly. “I'm going to do whatever I can to help Senator Organa. He could probably use your help, too, Master Kenobi.”

“I'm no more a Master anymore than you are a Padawan, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan says wryly. “And my place is here. I have an important task to complete.” His look clearly says  _ don't ask,  _ so Ahsoka doesn't. “You must do what you feel is right, but Ahsoka, I must warn you, do not go after Vader again. He is dangerous to you more than any other Jedi because of your past with him. Please, don't seek him out.”

Ahsoka considers this. Of course she wants to bring Vader down, but could she kill him if given the chance? For now, she decides, things are too raw, too deep. For now, she'll stay away. Maybe one day she'll have the strength to do what needs to be done.

“Okay,” she tells Obi-Wan. “I won't.”

Obi-Wan looks relieved. “One more thing. I advise you to stop going by your real name, it's dangerous now that you're on the Empire's radar. And if you ever need to contact me again, call me Ben.”

Ben. It's plain and simple, just like the look Obi-Wan is going for. Ahsoka wonders what he's really up to.

“Got it,” she says. “Thanks... Ben.”

“May the Force be with you, Ahsoka,” the former Jedi Master tells her.

“May the Force be with you,” she echoes, the once familiar saying strange on her tongue, and the hologram flickers out.

The room is suddenly eerily quiet, so Ahsoka walks out onto the balcony, enjoying the outside air for the first time in days. The sun is just peaking out over the horizon, turning the sky brilliant hues of yellow and pink. Leaning out over the rail, Ahsoka takes a moment to just breathe.

Joining the rebellion is the right move to take, she can feel it. This whole trip to Coruscant has been a giant wake-up call that she really needed. Obi-Wan was right though, she can't keep using her real name. She can't have something plain and simple, like Obi-Wan chose. Ahsoka is a lot of things, but 'plain' is not one of them.

_ What do you want to achieve?  _ She thinks to herself. Right now, she thinks she'll start small. She'll support the rebellion in any way she can, but maybe one day she can change things again, like she did in the clone wars. Anakin always teased her about her need to be in the thick of things, but it's where she thrives, at the centre.

Like a fulcrum.

Fulcrum. She kind of likes it.

Ahsoka smiles, watching traffic wind it's way into the distance. Helping people, doing good, it's what she was made for, why she loved being a Jedi so much. It's time to stop fearing and step out into the galaxy and after all this time, she's finally ready again.

 


End file.
